His Reward
by RayWritesThings
Summary: "The metacrisis energy would kill anyone who was hit with it, anyone who tried to absorb it. And he was a dead man walking." The Doctor finds a way to do so much more before he regenerates. "The End of Time" AU, "Journey's End" Fix-it


**Hello, readers. I've decided to start cross-posting some of my fics from AO3 and tumblr over to FFN, so if you recognize this story most likely you've read it on either of my accounts there (Ray_Writes and raywritesthings, respectively). If you haven't read it before, I hope you enjoy!**

**-RayWritesThings**

**His Reward**

The Doctor was unsure how exactly he managed to focus on anything other than the pain enough to pilot the TARDIS away from Naismith Manor. Perhaps it was the wretched, guilt-stricken looks Wilfred Mott kept giving him on the other side of the Time Rotor. He could tell the old human was barely holding back from tears, and that made shame all his own churn in his gut.

After everything that had happened to Donna, and just now having to witness his impotent rage and selfishness, yet all Wilf had done when he'd come out of the radiation booth was hug him. There he'd been, moments before, demanding a reward for everything he'd been through. Yet the truth was he didn't deserve it. Not after everything he'd done.

No, perhaps it truly was time for a change. Once more unto the breach, old Will Shakespeare would say. There was no telling what he would do with this last remaining life, all on his own with no one to stop him. That's what terrified him.

But there was no way of preserving this face this time — and what a costly mistake it had been to do so the first time. Donna had paid the price for his vanity, and his hearts had paid dearly in return. The guilt that plagued his every waking and sleeping thought was the one thing he felt certain would carry over to his next regeneration. He couldn't imagine not turning the same recriminations and what-ifs over in his head for the rest of his days

The TARDIS landed, and the Doctor slowly followed Wilfred to the door. It would be wrong not to see him off, even if he didn't intend for this to be their last meeting.

Sylvia Noble was already coming out of the house, and, for the first time he could remember, looked happy. "Oh, she's smiling. As if today wasn't bad enough. Anyway, don't go thinking this is goodbye, Wilf. I'll see you again, one more time."

The old human looked back round. "What do you mean? When's that?"

"Just keep looking. I'll be there," he promised. He'd just have to hold out a little longer until he could arrange everything properly. A little bit of timestream crossing, though not his. Even if it involved his timestream, he would do it. He owed that much to Donna. The Doctor wanted to smile just at the thought of her face once she got the gift he had planned.

Wilfred was still watching him with concern. "Where are you going?"

"To get my reward," he answered simply.

The Doctor turned back to his ship and allowed a brief spasm of pain to flicker across his features out of Wilf's sight, but was still moving slow enough that he heard Sylvia's frantic chattering.

"Oh, dad, thank God you're back. I've no idea what happened! One minute Donna was there, then she was gone and that- that thing was in the sky! Shaun found her out on the street. She's only just woken up."

He paused, his hand raised to push on the police box doors. So his defence mechanism had held up as planned. A safe expelling of just a fraction of the metacrisis energy stored in her head. Any more and it might have killed her, or whoever had been unfortunate enough to receive the blast.

His hand slid down the wood and then off completely, falling limply to his side. The metacrisis energy would kill anyone who was hit with it, anyone who tried to absorb it.

And he was a dead man walking.

The Doctor looked back over his shoulder. "Wilfred."

Sylvia had been pulling him towards the house, but at the sound of his voice the old human stopped. "Doctor?"

"Remember how I said you'd see me again?"

He nodded. "Yeah."

The Doctor shuffled back around. "Hello. Mind if I come in?"

Wilf was already coming forward to help as he staggered a few paces away from the TARDIS. Sylvia, however, placed herself square in his path.

"What? He can't! Donna's just woken up. You said she can't see you!"

"I changed my mind," he replied flippantly.

"You said it would kill her!" She hissed at him.

"It'll kill somebody," he amended.

Wilf's eyes widened, and he placed a hand on Sylvia's arm, guiding her out of the way. "Doctor, are you sure?"

"Absolutely."

"What're you gonna do?"

He met the man's gaze squarely. "Make her better."

He shuffled his slow and steady way into the house, Wilf hovering right at his elbow. Donna and her fiancé were in the sitting room, by the sounds of it.

"Mr. Mott," the man he'd seen out of the cafe window greeted. Then his eyes fell on him. "Er, hello."

He more or less grunted a greeting as he moved past him. The Doctor didn't much feel like sparing pleasantries for strangers today. Not when someone far more important and dear to him was in the room.

Donna looked over the back of the settee. "What, we have company now, too? Hey, you're that friend of Gramps'," she realized, a mockery of recognition in her eyes. How could he have ever done this to her? "John Smith, wasn't it?"

"That's right." He lowered himself gingerly to perch on the coffee table, barely holding in a groan as his body protested. "How're you feeling?"

"Fine." She shrugged. "You're not looking too hot yourself."

He grimaced. Donna always saw right through him. "Well, only one of us passed out in the street today."

"I'm fine," she repeated dismissively. "Just kipped out on the settee. Sort of like last time, I suppose. You must think I've got some kind of disorder or something," she said with a laugh that didn't quite reach her eyes. It wasn't real. "We've got to stop meeting like this! I'm fine, seriously."

"Really? Your grandfather said you were going on about giant wasps earlier."

Donna frowned. "Giant _wasps_? I—" She paused, something flashing behind her eyes. "I was, wasn't I? I'd forgotten, but I was...I was out on the street and there was this man. He was everywhere."

She hunched forward, one hand going to her forehead. He caught her in his arms.

"It's alright, Donna, it's going to be alright."

"My head!" She gasped.

"What have you done? What are you doing to her?" Shaun reached for her over the back of the settee, but Donna waved her fiancé off.

She looked up, right at him. "I've seen you before. And not the last time."

"You have," he admitted.

"All this past year I've kept thinking, there's something missing," she confessed in a hushed voice. "It's you, isn't it?"

A lump rose in the Doctor's throat and he couldn't seem to speak around it.

"It _is _you. Why did I — how did I forget you? Who are you? Oh God, it hurts!"

"Donna!" Sylvia cried. He ignored her.

"Hello, Donna Noble. I'm the Doctor. And I'm so sorry." The Doctor brought his hands to her temples and closed his eyes.

Every nerve in his body cried out at the fresh assault of burning, searing pain. He could feel the golden energy slowly siphoning from her to him, creating a very volatile cocktail indeed. This regeneration was going to be a big one. He'd have to hope the TARDIS could contain it.

Donna gave a great, shuddering breath and he opened his eyes to see her staring at him. And there was just something _right _in that green-eyed gaze. "Spaceman?"

"There she is," he said, smiling through the pain. It could be a million times worse than this and he would still be smiling.

"What are you—" Her eyes widened. Oh, she really was so clever. "No. No, Doctor, you can't!"

"Welcome back."

The transfer completed, and his eyes rolled up as he fell backwards. He didn't even register hitting the coffee table.

Donna awoke on the settee for the second time that day feeling even more disoriented than before. Half of her expected to be there on the TARDIS, like the whole last year back home was just a bad dream. In a way, it both was and wasn't.

"Donna, please wake up," her mother's voice was urging. Was she crying?

"Sweetheart?" That one was Gramps.

And the Doctor? What had happened to the Doctor?

Donna's eyes snapped open and she pushed herself up. He was sprawled on his back on the coffee table, his eyes slowly blinking open. So he was okay. God, she hopes he was okay.

"Donna?" Her granddad asked hesitantly. "Are you back with us, love?"

She looked to him. "Yeah, Gramps. All back."

"Well- well hey!" He gave a startled laugh, swooping in to hug her. Donna held on tight, shaking and a little giddy. She felt so _present_, so grounded, more than she had for the entire last year. "He did it! He said he was gonna, and he got your memories back! I knew he could do it!"

Donna nodded, clutched at her grandfather, and tried to reign in her tears.

"I'm back, I'm back," she repeated. It felt so good to say. She felt whole again. Maybe not quite the DoctorDonna — when she tried to search for those nine-hundred years she'd never lived, she could find nothing — but her.

"Donna, what the hell just happened?" Said a man on her right, and it was like he was calling to her down a long tunnel, familiar yet strangely distant to her mind. She pulled away from her grandfather and looked up at him.

"Shaun!" Donna's eyes darted down to her left hand. She was engaged, again. To some poor sod who would barely recognize her now! The real her, anyway. "I — I can't really explain."

"What do you mean?" He was looking at her, confused and scared. He'd never understand, would he?

"Well it — it's sort of alien," she began, glancing back to her left — where had the Doctor gone?

"Alien?" Shaun echoed. Donna barely heard him.

"Doctor? Doctor!" He must have slipped out of the room in all the confusion. She should've realized! Was he _ever _that quiet? Something was wrong.

She stood up, slipping the ring off her finger and placing it into his palm. "I'm sorry."

"Donna!" Her mother cried in dismay.

Shaun looked up at her. "But, why?"

"Cause it wouldn't be right to you," she said. "Just trust me. I have to go."

"On _Christmas_?" That was her mum again.

"Go on, Donna," her grandfather urged. "He needs you. Said it himself!"

"See you!" She called, hurrying out of the room. There was no time to get her things; by the time she made it out the front door he was nowhere to be seen on the street. The TARDIS was still parked across from the house, and she ran for it.

Donna just got the door shut behind her when the wheezing of the ship dematerializing started up. "Oi!"

Her Martian leaned to the side of the Time Rotor to spot her. "Donna?" He watched her march up the ramp with steadily widening eyes. "No, no, no, Donna, stay back. It's not safe, you shouldn't be here!"

She halted just a few feet around the console from him, hand on her hip. "Were you seriously going to just leave _without me_?"

He stared at her, seemingly thrown. "I thought you wouldn't want to see me again. After what I did."

"One of these days, you're gonna learn that you can't keep deciding what I do or don't want. Especially when I am telling you exactly what I want already!" She glared at him, but when all he did was nod miserably before a hiss of pain escaped his lips, she felt her own anger melt away.

"What did you go and do? I didn't want to kill you."

"You didn't. I was already dying," he told her. "It's been a hell of a Christmas. Wilf can tell you the whole thing."

"I'm gonna ask _you _as soon as you're better," she insisted. "You don't get rid of me that easily, Martian."

"I'm not exactly getting better, Donna," he reminded.

"Maybe not how we'd both like," she admitted quietly. "But listen, I may not remember everything _about _being the DoctorDonna, but I remember being that. And I know what I said before is still true. Your mind, Doctor, it doesn't change. And it's the best part of you." She stepped forward again, and, when he didn't immediately bat her away, took his hands. "It doesn't matter to me what you look like. I said forever."

"Oh Donna." A smile wavered on his lips. "There's something I've wanted to say to you, for a long time now. The longer you were gone the more I couldn't bare having not told you. And now, here you are." He gave a sniff, and she was shocked to realize there were tears in his eyes. "I didn't think I'd have a chance like this, even if I won't be me anymore. I'm afraid that I won't, once I've changed — or maybe I just don't want him to be the first to say it."

"Say what?" She asked softly.

The Doctor glanced down once, then met her eyes. "That I love you."

Donna sucked in a sharp breath. His hands slipped from her grasp.

"There we go. Ruined it good and proper now." He was smiling, but it was so sad. "Listen, whatever happens you just tell the next me to take you home."

"Why would I do that?"

"Because I — well, I love you, Donna." He said it so easily the second time, like it was just a simple fact. She supposed it was. All this time...it just wasn't fair.

Donna couldn't keep her voice from trembling as she asked, "And you think I don't?"

She pressed a hand over her mouth as soon as the words left it. His face went through a whole range of emotions; shock, disbelief, hope, until settling on a sort of wonder.

"Well...isn't that wizard?"

Donna gave something halfway between a laugh and a sob. The Doctor looked about to do the same before tensing up.

"It's time."

Her vision was starting to blur. Donna blinked furiously to clear it; he needed her to be strong now. They would get through this. She didn't want to leave him, but she knew it was for her own safety that she back away.

But first...Donna rose up on her toes and pressed her lips to his cheek. The Doctor released a shaky breath, hands clenched at his sides. The longer he prolonged this, the longer he would be in pain. She had to let him go.

"I'm sorry," she murmured.

"No." He shook his head. "I thought there was so much more for me to do — but this. _This_, Donna Noble, this was what the universe was waiting on me for." He was smiling down at her; he was _happy_. "My reward, the most important woman in all creation back where she's supposed to be. I'm ready to go now."

Donna nodded, backing away as his hands started glowing with the golden light of regeneration. "I'll be right here, Spaceman," she managed to get out. Even if she would never see this version of him again, it didn't matter. She believed what she'd said. The Doctor was the Doctor. And she loved him.

At least they'd said it.

He kept his eyes on her until the last possible moment. "To the best of times, Donna Noble."

His face began to glow and it grew so bright that she had to shield her eyes. And even then, it grew brighter.

The Doctor threw his head back and was completely engulfed in the light. She felt the tears spill over as she squeezed her eyes shut. The energy that healed him also was hurting him, and there was nothing she could do except watch as it finally exploded outwards from his hands and face.

Donna looked about in alarm as the golden light hit the console, the ceiling, and one of the coral struts, catching all it touched on fire. Sparks flew from the controls and somewhere else glass shattered. There was no way that was supposed to happen! The TARDIS couldn't be safe like this, but they'd taken off, hadn't they?

And then someone was screaming. No, not someone. The _Doctor _was screaming. An entirely different-sounding scream than she'd ever heard from him.

The light receded and standing there in Spaceman's suit was a younger man. A _very _young and odd-looking man. His hair was still brown, but longer, and it flopped into his eyes — but those eyes weren't young at all, were they? Even as they gazed about with a fresh wonder and excitement.

"Donna!" He pointed at her and she jumped. "Still got Donna! And legs!" He hoisted a knee in the air, pressing his lips to it for a brief moment. "Good. Arms. Hands. Ooh fingers, lots of fingers. We're in business now, Donna!"

Donna blinked. Was he seriously doing a checklist to make sure he still had all the right bits?

He was running his hands down his face now. "Ears, yes. Eyes, two. Nose, I've had worse. Chin, blimey. Hair—"

He froze, pawing at the longer strands.

"I'm a girl!" He exclaimed, voice about two octaves higher than before. He whirled about on his heels, eyes wide as saucers. "Donna, am I a girl?"

"No!" She gaped at him. "Can that happen?"

"Yes. Ginger?"

"Excuse you?"

He had already turned away, staring at his reflection in a shiny bit of the console that hadn't caught flame yet. "Still not ginger? _Again_?"

"Oi!"

He staggered backwards on his new legs like a fawn. "Ha! Donna, yes! Brilliant Donna, important Donna, _gorgeous _Donna!" He was nearly on her in two bounds, then took her face in both hands and laid a great, smacking kiss on her forehead. "I'm missing something, aren't I, Donna? You can tell me what it is. You're clever, you are!"

She hardly registered a word he'd said. "Did you just kiss me?"

"Yes. No." He leapt back a foot, hand scratching at his cheek. "Er, not exactly, but in a manner of speaking yes. Sorry. New body, you there, my whole brain went 'what the hell?'" He finished rambling and beamed at her. "Am I less skinny this time?"

"What?"

"It's just, generally speaking, you seem to like—" He was cut off by a great _bang _as something exploded on the console, and the whole ship lurched to the side. Donna clung to the railing which was steadily getting hotter and hotter to the touch and could only watch as he tumbled to his hands and knees. One of the trouser legs split. "What was that?"

"We're _crashing_, you alien dumbo!"

He'd pulled himself up by the monitor screen and stared at the Circular Gallifreyan flashing across it. "Crashing!"

He was on his feet in an instant, face alight and joy in his voice. He grabbed for her again, wrapping her in a hug that lifted her off her feet as he spun them around. Donna yelped and he laughed.

"Ha-ha!" He set her back on the grating and spun away, jacket bunching at the shoulders and straining a bit across the chest. Trim, he still was, but skinny?

Donna shook herself. _So _not the point right now. One of them had to stay on track!

He reached through the flames mad and uncaring to start hitting buttons and pulling levers. Donna couldn't believe it. Had he somehow gone even more barmy?

"What do I do?" She called.

"Hang on tight, Donna-dear!"

"Donna _what_?"

"I'm trying it out!" He clambered back around to her. "The dematerialization circuit's blown! We're in free-fall now!"

"You mean you can't land us?" She demanded.

"Depends on your definition of landing!" He shouted back. He'd gotten quite good at the shouting, all right up close to her and wild gesticulations. "I'll have to see if we've still got the helmic regulator!"

"Which one's that?"

He swung an arm out towards the worst of the fire.

"Oh my God. Wait, wait, just — wait a minute!" She ordered, snagging his elbow just in time to keep him from running right over there. Donna rushed to the little supply cupboard just outside the console room, sweat beading on her brow, and returned hefting the fire extinguisher, which she aimed and sprayed all over the panel in question.

"_Amazing_, Donna!"

She turned in anticipation of his approach this time, and so instead of the exuberant smooch on the cheek she was likely supposed to have gotten, his lips mashed into hers.

Donna dropped the fire extinguisher with a clatter and somehow ended up with her fingers clenched in his long hair. He writhed like a live wire against her as if he didn't know what to do with himself — seriously, was he just _made _of energy this go around? — and somewhere in the middle it turned into a true, proper kiss. Or snog, really.

Something else went _pop _on the console.

He reeled back out of her hold just as suddenly as he'd swooped in, looking dazed and panting almost as heavily as she was. His eyes were some incredible shade, not quite green or hazel.

And he was the Doctor.

"Spaceman!" He stilled for the first time in this body. A smile was aimed at her again, but this time softer and smaller, almost shy. "Try not to get us killed."

Her alien licked his lips. "No guarantees."

Donna found herself smiling anyway.

He was galloping around the console again, whooping in exhilaration. "Whoo hoo hoo! Ah!" The ceiling was nearly collapsing in some places, and a bit of it had gotten in his mouth. He spat it out, then reached for her hand.

She was plummeting back to Earth in a burning TARDIS with an alien who was both her best mate yet something of a stranger, and possibly her boyfriend.

Donna took it.

The Doctor threw a lever with his other hand, then turned to her with the thrill of adventure and the love of two hearts in his eyes.

"_Geronimo!_"


End file.
